Another Life Learning Cycle Complete

Another Life Cycle Complete

What a year! Hard to believe that another school year is in the books or soon to be for some of you. It is hard to imagine that a year ago I decided to take a huge career change by leaving a school I loved with all my heart to try something new by becoming the STEM Lead for the Mississippi Bend AEA to help serve 21 school districts.

Like we have all heard a million times in our lifetime: life is a journey. Recently I have been doing much reflection and life is really just a journey from growth to decay to rebirth. If we are lucky, we can survive these cycles several times as we learn who we are and what we want to become. When I decided to take a new job it was the process of renewal and growth.

While I was not sure how things would go and spending several weeks adjusting to not seeing kids, teachers, and hearing bells every single day, the job has been nothing short of amazing. I had to learn how to create impact in new ways and just like that we are at the end of the year.

I have been blown away by the endless effort educators put into their teaching. I have been amazed at schools doing so much with so little while the demands continue to increase.

My eyes have been opened in so many ways as I have been able to work with schools I never knew existed and met so many amazing students and educators.

As we wrap up this year I want to say thanks to everyone who has allowed me into their schools, their classrooms, and allowed me to share my love of learning and STEM and PBL and all things nerdy. To have a job that allows me to do what I love every single day really is amazing.

I cannot wait to see what the summer and next year brings as there are many exciting things in development.

With Growth Comes Pruning

As we continue to learn and grow we must also realize that there comes a time to prune back the excess. We cannot cling to everything we once were. Just like the bushes in your landscape or the flowers in your garden we have to weed out the bad, and prune away the excess to allow for proper growth.

This was also the year I jumped way outside my comfort zone and launched a nonprofit. This has been an unbelievable journey and something that has taught me more about myself, my values, what I am good at, and where I need work. It is has been one of the most powerful things I have tried to do in my career.

It was also too much. I bit off more than I could chew with a new job, new speaking opportunities, trying to be a parent to three amazing kids, and be a supportive husband to my wife. I finally hit my wall where I realized that I could no longer sustain the amount of work I was doing. Work was all that I was doing and it was starting to feel like work.

I had to stop and listen to my heart and my family. The last few weeks have been tough. I have recalibrated and created a new mantra for me to focus on.

This is the mantra.

Listen With Your Heart

I had a critical moment a few months back when my youngest was upset that I was leaving again. I don’t think it was so much that I was leaving town for work itself, but rather that I was barely home. I was flying here and there to ignite new thoughts in teaching and learning in schools throughout the US. I was gone several nights a week teaching classes at the nonprofit. I was spending weekends at the nonprofit cleaning, working, prepping, and trying to stay caught up in the business side of things where I had no clue what I was doing. I was also spending time trying to learn this new job and getting caught up in all the things I realized I did not know!

When I was home, I was not mentally as present as I should have been. I was in the office or on the phone or sitting with a laptop constantly doing something, but not being present with those around me.

It was this small moment with Ava that I realized I had to change. I realized that I only get one chance to be a parent to my kids. They fly the coop when they hit 18. Two of my children are over the halfway mark of spending the most amount of time with us at home. We won’t always have them under our roof(at least I hope not!). When they leave for college we won’t see them as much. When they move into adulthood who knows where life will take them. These few precious moments and years is all I have to impart my love and relationship building with them that will build the foundation for the rest of the years. Ava is our youngest, but she is growing up too fast and in a blink of an eye they will all be out of the house.

Mixing these feelings with the fact that the nonprofit was losing money monthly was not helping. The work we were doing was great. Our classes had great feedback, but it is hard to constantly swipe the family credit card when there are bills to pay, house repairs to be done, and a future of three kids of college, marriage, and more on the horizon. While I realize thta over time we could really make this boom, I had to understand that the nonprofit was not my livelihood. I had a job and in order to have a successful business you must dedicate yourself like it is a full time job. I am not able to withstand operating two full time jobs.

Our summer camps drew low numbers which really hurt the livelihood of being able to sustain the space and keeping the doors open. It was yet another sign.

You are hearing it first here. 212 STEAM Labs will no longer stay in operation. I considered other avenues and doing things online, but all of these things won’t actually solve the problem. I need to be a father. I need to be a husband. I have a job that allows me to do the work I was doing at 212 STEAM Labs all day with schools. I have what I need. It is time. I have goals to reopen one day when the timing is right, but I have decided to officially announce the end of 212 STEAM Labs for the time being as I work to regroup my priorities in life and bring more focus to my work at the AEA.

This has not been easy for me. I feel like a failure. I feel like I am letting so many incredible kids and families down whom I have worked with this past year. I don’t like to not succeed. This has been a bitter pill to swallow. I am sharing this as I am looking to a new horizon and new ventures to do what is best for myself, my family, and more importantly for the longevity and working to create equity in STEM and education in general. Sometimes we have to admit defeat. I am waving the white flag. I have bitten off more than I can chew and instead of choking I have decided to cleanse the palette and start anew.

This does not mean that I won’t help. If you know me, then you know I am always an email or message away. Providing support and help for for anyone will not stop because I no longer have a space. I was helping before I had a nonprofit and will continue to help as I reshape the future.

Everything in our world has a life cycle

While it is hard to type these words and admit that 212 STEAM Labs won’t continue, life will go on. Each step we make is vital and critical to our survival and well being. I can sit and feel sorry for myself for all the things I did not do right to keep things going, but that does nobody any good.

Instead I will rise. I am looking after my health. I am working to shed a few pounds from working all the time and neglecting health. I am at home present with my children. I am trying to learn how to read fiction again. I am working on how to just sit and not work and find peace. And I have more time to tinker and play with all my toys sitting in our basement makerspace that are just waiting to be built, coded, soldered, and assembled.

I know this is the right move. Sometimes the end of something is the beginning of something else. When I started this year as STEM Lead it was the beginning of renewal after leaving a school I loved for 14 years. This summer will prove to be no different. I have no clue where things will land, but as long as we keep pressing forward, learning from our mistakes, and never giving up on ourselves, then all will be okay. One thing I learned this year is that the work in the nonprofit is the same type of work I am trying to infuse into schools. So the work is not stopping, but just being shifted into different channels.

I have not reached nirvana, but it is a start.

Be sure to take time for yourself and family this summer. Get away from work. Find and explore new and old hobbies. Do things you have always wanted to do. While the pressures of work and life and expectations of others can be grueling, life is too short to not take time to relax, laugh, breathe, and enjoy the little small moments that often go unnoticed in our busy lives.