I posted on social media the other day a quote from a book that read, “Why, having been endowed with the courageous heart of a lion, do we live as mice?”
At the time of posting this quote less than 48 hours ago I was in a moment of my life where I had a difficult decision to make. I have dragged the decision out for quite some time, but the other day I had a moment of clear thinking and made my move on this chess board of life.
I have decided to accept a new job. I will be leaving BMS to pursue a new job that I hope will help achieve some of my life goals and dreams. I have accepted a position at the Mississippi Bend AEA as the new STEM Lead for this part of the state. It is a new job with an open canvas to hopefully bring the AEA back to a place where people are excited to use them again. Additionally, I have also filed for a non-profit called 212 STEAM Labs where I hope to launch a new innovative space for the community to enhance education for both students and adults in partnership with an art gallery and some other organizations.
I have a lot of big life choices on the horizon.
Change is scary beyond any horror movie. Change is not easy. As much as I write, talk, coach, and discuss the idea of change, when it hits you at your core you are instantly reminded of why so many people choose to accept being stuck and unhappy in parts of their life because it is indeed easier. As I read in yet another book, “We must ask ourselves if our desires to feel safe and accepted are in fact enslaving us to popular opinion – and to boredom. We must ask: When will we be ready to ascent to another level of existence?”
Courage is a choice and permission to move forward with boldness is never given to the fearful masses. I am reminded in this moment and in this decision that when seeking change we must remember that it requires a bit of insanity. I indeed feel like I am insane.
To everyone who I have worked with over the last 13 years at BMS I want to thank you. In some shape or form you have impacted me to learn about myself and the world. It was not that long ago where I was student teaching with Cheryl Johannsen, teaching sixth grade social studies, preaching about life lessons of Brown Trout and Little Suzy at camp, trying to figure out to how meet the needs of kids in ELP, and now working with the awesome educators here to figure out how to best reach students in the classroom. To those that have become friends along the journey, relationships don’t end because of a job. More importantly, to those that want to brainstorm, ask questions, and work to improve this lifestyle(I don’t believe teaching is a job, but a lifestyle and way of living), I am just down the road.
Since making the decision I have had an outpouring of stories and connections with so many people. I feel loved and blessed. I feel honored to have the memories that I have been part of with teachers, admin, and students. For each story my heart tugs me back into changing my mind and not leaving. It tears me up inside. However, I know that these moments have been leading me to the next step of my life where more memories will be created.
In my Coffeechug Book Club of Empowerment, I posted a video yesterday about the concept of failure is the way forward. In the book we are reading there was a line that hit me hard. It read, “….to not pursue my own projects became the failure”.
What is the worse that can happen? I am miserable in the job and I go back to doing what I love which is teaching. When I process the gains vs. losses I realize the gains outweigh the bad time and time again despite my emotions telling me otherwise.
To the students I have worked with I hope you see this as another example of not waiting for the perfect moment. Life is all about not knowing, and then going out and doing something anyway. Take the leaps and find out what is on the other side.
After about a week of sleepless nights I believe this is the right move. Thank you to everyone for helping me become a better person, educator, parent, and coach. I just began a huge new life project with a driving question of, “What does the future hold?”.